WTF IS THIS? THE WACKO AND THE JACKO!

So what's a lil brown skin girl from the islands to do?

Plan A

Get the hook up with a family member's hubby who's in the music industry in the US - CHECK
Start suckkin producers dicks for hot tracks- CHECK
Get long brown weave and immitate Queen Bey- CHECK

So-So success? Ok...

Plan B

Take out long brown weave and put in short jet black weave tracks -CHECK
Tattoos like Fefe Dobson for new faux rocker edgy look - CHECK
Begin a skin bleaching regimen to appeal to white folk - CHECK
Warbled voice to mimmick a white American pop princess - CHECK
Get a white boyfriend? Awww NONE interested! - SCRATCH THAT
Get a black R&B boyfriend to create a young Jay & Bey - CHECK

Burgeoning success! Ok...

Plan C

Marketing gimmick with black boyfriend to get ass beat and gain exposure - CHECK
Get on Oprah and discuss Awww Oprah not interested - SCRATCH THAT
Start partying non-stop like a D-List Reality star all over LA - CHECK
Shop for a $6 million house and alert paps each time viewing a house - CHECK
Jet set all over the US and Barbados - CHECK

All eyes on you now? Ok...

Plan D

Unveil Completely new look as Michael Jackson the second coming.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Unfortunately, this is a MAJOR fail for lil miss Rihtarded. Earlier this month the Queen was out in this $11,000 jacket looking like a glamorous model and not a washed up pop prince.




This is how it's done Rhi Rhi!!!


The OWBCREW headquarters rushed to get Bey's thoughts on this sad predicament of Rihtarded the fallen pop diva. Bey's response: